“Single,” the status can often conjure up negative emotions. When filling out a wedding RSVP, this remains evident. You shudder as you decline your plus one. Internally you question yourself. “Why am I still single?” “Will I ever find love?” Certainly not questions a happy single asks!
Living with a disability adds to the turbulence. Potential dates fail to see past your wheelchair or awkward gait. That causes frustrations, moving you further away from living happily. Enough I say! Today I offer four tips to empower you to become a happy single. Prepare to feel positive.
No Jelly without Peanut Butter
I left the peanut butter in the pantry. Hence there exists no need for you to take out the jelly. Sorry, am I confusing you? Obviously then I botched my attempt at slang. By jelly I mean jealous. Basically I am saying, stop feeling jealous towards your friends in relationships.
How did I know? I am familiar with the sentiment. Trust me. Thankfully author Shane Michael Taylor helped me realize my mistake. Wisdom he shares in his audio book Living This Rodeo taught me an important lesson, perspective.
Think about your jealously. The foundation probably stems from what you see. Most people show off their best selves. Meanwhile arguments and destructive behaviors stay hidden. Arguments and destructive behaviors single status protects you against. Enjoy fewer problems while possible.
Not a Newspaper
Unlike a newspaper, relationships and love do not require deadlines. Actually setting imposing schedules winds up counterproductive. Within my memoir Off Balanced, I recall asking out my college crush Liz. Admittedly though, I glanced over the mental state I fell into following her rejection.
Socially, the thought “I’m 19 and I’ve never been on a date” dominated my mind. I placed pressure on myself to change said fact. Pressurized however, I emerged a desperate single. Desperate wrecks chaos on any attractiveness you possess.
Again, I fortunately encountered beneficial insight. Somehow one day at work I wound up discussing my “love” life with a manager. He explained to me the faults in my mindset. Upon removing calendar years as a variable to dating I relaxed once more.
Right Status, Wrong Crowd
Multiple motivational speakers emphasize surrounding yourself with the right people. The reason involves others’ ability to influence. Say your friends and family treat you broken. All because you lack a significant other! No wonder you view single status negatively.
Exercise provides me quality alone time.
Avoid keeping frequent company with naysayers. Rather reach out to individuals who respect the single life. No such contacts? Develop a personal hobby or habit. Quality alone time beats feeling shamed by a group. Exercise stands my preferred activity.
Another Love
Truthfully above I hesitated typing the term “naysayers.” Behind your friends and family’s negativity, you will likely spot well intentions. Individuals motivated to wake up each morning by the love for their partner. They simply desire you to experience the special emotion too.
Enter the final tip to living as a happy single. Discover your passion. Your purpose! Another love outside love for a significant other can drive you. Me, I strive to make a positive difference for others. Lessen the loneliness cerebral palsy triggers. Encourage my peers in the CP community to live fulfilling lives. Explore their possibilities.
Happy Single Life
Start living the happy single life now. Quash the jealously you feel for friends and family members coupled off. Delete any self-imposed dating goals measured via a calendar. Break away from friends and family who shame you for your single status. Instead look inwards and pursue a purpose worthwhile to you. I hope you thrive in your newfound happy single life.
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Good points there. We all probably have been exposed or rather smacked with the old saying “love at first sight” at one point or the other. It is a powerful emotion and one that can go both ways, either fantastically or shatteringly.
In the end, you are right about letting go of the social pressures and embracing the idea that good things will happen to those who seek it. Even if it takes time. If Rome was a human being, then one has to remember Rome was not created in a day and eventually, became loved by million.
And it’s all about what you do to reach that point. Just like Rome did.
If anything, the hardest challenge of being single is realizing what state your single mind is in and what you are doing about it. Great tips.
Thanks Mark. I really like the way you personified the old cliche “Rome wasn’t built in a day” in order to illustrate the main point here. Very effective!