Stop the Envy: Focus On You!

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Envy, you likely know the feeling. Maybe you desire the relationship someone else enjoys. Or, you covet the promotion given to your co-worker. Perhaps you resentfully think “If only I was that tall…” Honestly, life offers many reasons to feel envious. When discussing life with cerebral palsy, those reasons grow exponentially.

Cerebral palsy impacts both gross and fine motor skills. In other words everything from tying shoes to walking becomes increasingly challenging. With the wrong mindset these ordinary activities trigger cause for envy.

Avoiding such a mentality involves a shift in concentration. Rather than looking outward, reroute inwards. Focus on you! Below I share three tips designed to help you stop the envy. Quick! Go grab pen and paper to take notes.

The Apple vs. Orange Injustice

First and foremost, no more comparisons! Admittedly comparing yourself to others seems human nature. However, what good really results? Compare yourself to someone farther along than you and envy begins to stir. Meanwhile do the same with someone lagging behind you and risk complacency.

Envy and complacency equally distract from what stands most important, your progress. Since I already decided to zero in on envy, I should address complacency another time. For now let me examine the potential harm envy carries.

My friend Nate and I representing Team IBB.

Rather than envious, I am thankful for my friend Nate. He will complete the half marathon too.

Easily I could enable a comparison to ruin my half marathon goal. I needed two years to prepare myself for a 13.1-mile race. Contrastingly, two months before the race my friend Nate agreed to complete the half marathon too.

Say I dwell on the fact Nate only needed two months. Suddenly all my optimism deflates. I discredit everything I accomplished in two years. Not cool!

Comparisons can bully you, making you feel lesser than. Hush your internal bully. Redirect your thought process using the next tip.

Battling Human Nature                

Again the urge to compare remains an impulse all humankind battles. Overcome the compulsion by setting goals. Identify your long-term goals to start. Then determine the short-term goals you must achieve along the way.

Short-term goals prove vital. Without them your long-term goal probably appears unattainable. Personally I knew my half marathon training necessitated work beyond endurance. Stretching, balance, and range of motion screamed for my attention. Therefore I laid out weekly and daily short-term goals to appease my demanding body.

Funny, what happens after setting daily and weekly goals! Your mind escapes the instinct to compare. Alternatively you reflect on meeting your short-term goals. Wonderful!

Well, wonderful unless you struggle with your short-term goals. Enough struggling may leave you angrily stumbling back to comparisons and consequently envy. “I wish I was like Fred. This comes easy to him.”

Forget Fred! I am dedicating my third and final tip to you. Ready?

Upon Further Review

Constant troubles with short-term goals possibly indicate your great ambitions. Success and ambition complement each other. So congratulations! Your frustrating failures hint at tremendous triumphs ahead.

Although, prior to rejoicing in your victories reality requires commitment from you. Review and reassess your short-term goals. Lessen the challenge until you regularly reach your new goal. Or, add details to guide you.

For example, say you set a goal to stretch twice daily. Yet you keep failing to complete the second set. Insert a clause noting when in the day you should stretch the second time.

Attentively reassessing your goals maintains your rightful focus, you! Remember no more comparisons. Instead set goals and reassess said goals as necessary. Stop the envy today.

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