Intrigue grows when disability gets added to a conversation about dating and relationships. Society does not pair up disability and attractiveness. Instead negative stigmas interfere with even considering a person with a disability as a viable significant other. This can lead to labeling and limiting prospects.
Like I say in the above video a disability seems to increase rejections. Rejection after rejection can influence the mind. Just look to the open discussion portion to last Wednesday’s focused #CPChatNow discussion on cerebral palsy and relationships. If you read the recap, you know a participant inquired about where she could find guys with disabilities. After I asked why she wanted to limit herself to others with disabilities, she explained able-bodies never like her back.
Now by no means did I mean to pursue this individual away from seeking someone else with a disability. Rather I specified my intention, tweeting
“I see @justjen03. I just wouldn’t limit myself to a label, able-bodied or disabled. All it takes is one person. Who that is, idk #CPChatNow”
To avoid limiting myself to a label I personally avoid dating websites designed for singles with disabilities. Anyone with a disability who attempted finding love via online dating sites such as e-Harmony and Match will surely see the upside to disabled-orientated dating sites. Suddenly the awkward moment where you reveal your disability disappears.
On e-Harmony, Match, or another similar dating website you must figure out the best moment to share your condition. Each option possesses positives and negatives. Putting information about your disability directly into your profile establishes a direct filter but also risks scaring away matches before they can get to know your personality.
Direct opposite not mentioning your disability until an in-person meet gives you the most opportunity to know the other person. However, you come across hiding your disability. Mentioning your disability between those two phases (i.e. over the phone) makes you look honest but leaves you most vulnerable to getting hurt. What if you really dig the person but he or she ends the conversation following your reveal?
So a disability-orientated dating website embodies great appeal. Again though, why limit your dating prospects? Love knows no limits anyhow. Sure, my basis to say that stems from intuition and reading, not firsthand experience.
Perhaps the most powerful read which allows me to confidently say “love knows no limits” comes from author Neil Matheson. Neil explained in his book Daddy Bent-Legs he never planned to date somebody with a disability. In fact his late wife Elana felt the same way too. Yet love blossomed between the two. Read Neil’s guest blog post for Handicap This Productions or Daddy Bent-Legs for more.
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Hopefully today’s post encourages you to keep an open mind while you search for love. Your love may come from a partner with or without a disability. The easiest way to discover your co-star for your love story remains staying open minded.