Remove the word “special” from “special needs mom.” Woah! Calm down. Okay, I am at fault. I should know better. My initial sentence risk seeming fighting words. After all, special needs moms largely prove a passionate bunch. May I request a do-over?
Thanks for the second chance. Today I will challenge perceptions regarding special needs moms. Well, I guess any special needs parent really. Although, I say special needs mom with reason. I am basing my post off a recent conversation with my own mother. A dialogue video captured and awaits your viewing pleasure.
Waking Up to Another Day
Waking Up to Another Day, nothing sounds special about that. Yet my mother selected those words to title her unwritten special needs mom memoir. Something you learned watching the video, right? You did watch, correct?
Her title choice accentuates a theme evident throughout our chat. You probably noticed. Again chancing repetitiveness, special needs lacks the inferred specialness.
In my own written and published cerebral palsy memoir Off Balanced, I attributed certain disagreements to my CP. Like chapter one “Changes,” where I recall the great stair debate. Questioning whether I should use the stairs at school directly correlated to my CP.
So yes, my mother’s comment “I never thought of it as a disagreement because you have cerebral palsy” opened my mind. Continuing she even described raising me as “just raising another child.” Before other special needs moms grow defensive, I caution you to watch the video. Understand the context to my mother’s remarks.
A Singular Constant
Everything truly stems back to my mother’s unwritten memoir title, Waking Up to Another Day. Repeating the sentiments I voice amidst our dialogue, I loved the title. Specifically the title’s ability to transcend special needs parenting won my favor. Waking Up to Another Day could also apply to mothering my two able-bodied brothers.
See, my mother pointed out a fact I came to recognize through my advocacy efforts. Everyone possesses different strengths and weaknesses. Or to rephrase, everyone possesses different abilities and disabilities. These individual characteristics make parenting each child a unique experience.
The phrase “special needs parent” implies an alternate group. A category remains identifiable by a set parenting standard. Special needs parents and standard parents, per se. Nonetheless if every kid brings a distinctive parenting experience, does a standard actually exist?
Personally I say no. Instead I suggest you can find only a singular constant among good parents. Emphasize good too since some parents simply suck. Perhaps a topic we shall explore in a future post.
Returning to the now however, the lone consistency stands love. Many conflicts between parent and child share a common root, love. A parent’s love triggers actions a child deems frustrating or overprotective. Maybe you reading this greatly relate. Realize fights based off loving intentions equates to nice problems.
Speak Up Special Needs Moms and Dads!
Alright, thank you for hearing me out special needs moms and dads. Summarizing, I challenged perceptions involving special needs parenting. I dismissed your specialness. Rather I theorize every child presents a unique parenting challenge. A proposal founded on my recent conversation with my own mother. The chat you can check out on Youtube.
Speak up once you watch. Do you agree or disagree with my not so special needs theory? Leave your input in the “Comments” section below. To learn more about my clashes in opinion with my parents growing up, download my memoir Off Balanced to your Kindle or Nook today.
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